KITTENS IN UNDERPANTS
MANIFESTO
(Our Ethos Hawke)
A Document of Great Historical Significance
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- Skiffle is Dead – Long Live Pop!
- It’s all about us.
- Keep out of reach of children and French people.
- No canines (except teeth.)
- Science over Mysticism – ALWAYS!
- This is a PASTIE-FREE SITE.
- As soon a peace is restored, we will remove from the kingdom all foreign knights, crossbow-men and mercenaries.
- Basically, it’s just us, poncing about, really.
- Feminism has no place here.
- We love boys! (GIFF US SUM!!!)
- Do you know Andrew Loog Oldham? – Cuz we do!
- We will sing of the great crowds agitated by work, pleasure and revolt; the multi-coloured and polyphonic surf of revolutions in modern capitals: the nocturnal vibration of the arsenals and the workshops beneath their violent electric moons: the gluttonous railway stations devouring smoking serpents and the gliding flight of aeroplanes whose propeller sounds like the flapping of a flag and the applause of enthusiastic crowds.
- We like kittens.
- Pro porn.
- BLAST THE NORTH for its Giro-reliant dreamers, its ‘boys in bands’, its plump, crying girls, its self-obsession, and its devotion to Sunny Delight.
- BLESS THE NORTH for its sense of humour, romantic men, sweet and wifely women, its chippies, and The Beatles.
- BLAST THE SOUTH for its poncey suit-wearers, superior attitude, and Classic F.M.
- BLESS THE SOUTH for its self-respect, its business cards, and its elegant tea rooms.
- BLAST THE FRENCH!
- We show off.
- No reasonable offer refused.
- Kittens in Underpants operates under the principal that Amanda Hallay is the most beautiful creature who has ever walked the earth, and we therefore do not take kindly to those who are not of similar opinion.
- You don’t want to see what we do to our enemies.
- Please… no French.
- Library books are gifts from the state; it is rude to return them.
- We will actively welcome and support any new theory – however controversial - on dinosaur extinction.
- We do all our own stunts.
- The mouth is the tradesman's entrance to the soul; the eyes can dissemble, but the TOOTH is TRUTH.
- “Please, KIU, can we have some….more?” (“MORE?!?!”)
- We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
- Kittens in Underpants - proud to be part of the industry of human happiness.
- (And we wish it could be Christmas every day!)
- “Goodnight, and thank you, whoever.”
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No boys were harmed during the making of this website.
WARNING: This product may contain nuts.
