LETTER OF THE YEAR!

Dear Amanda
Over the past two days whenever I type anything at all into Google Search I get something on your site. Now to me this is strange because there are like millions of websites in the world but each time I put something in if it doesn't come up with your site on the FIRST PAGE it will come up with it on the FOURTH page or sometimes further on like the TENTH PAGE. Your site is not a porn site but it has a name that some may think is porn but I do not believe that you knew that or even thought that when you made it up. Do you know that we are entering what PEOPLE are calling PX9 It is like a time when the secret societys that run the world and are linked to underground goverment facilitys start coming to the surface and begin to take control through computers by sending messages to people. They already do this of course but we don't know it yet because they know that man's brain takes a certain amount of time before it learns to process new data in the inconscious. PX9 has been using sites like Amazon and Yahoo since the begining but now they will use smaller sites but sites that they know people stay on for a while because they need a certain amount of time on the site for the subliminal messages to take affect and because your site CAME UP so many times on Google I think that your site has been chosen.
Maybe I'm wrong and maybe you know this and are ok with it but I thought you should know that your site has possibly been targeted by PX9. I'm not trying to freak you out or anything but it is weird that I keep getting forwarded to your site like this and what with this whole thing about to happen I thought I better write just in case you didn't know.

(This is one for Agent Mulder; I'm passing on this one.)

dear amanda and the rest of you lot
hey I stumbled across your hip hip site a couple weeks ago looking for lyrics to ‘Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick’.
anyway it was love at first site…and that your are from blighty–it could not be more perfect. o to be in england now that pissing down rain season is there…
I hope you don’t mind…as miss_kitty at hypocrites.com (http://www.hypocrites.com/), I have adopted ‘kittens in underpants” as my homepage–and as an arrogant american, it is my right to lay claim to wantever i–oops sorry, I mean I have put your url on my signature, so everytime I post a comment on a news story, a link posts to here. and I have a lot to say.
I tried to have my homepage be the ‘special sexy thing’ (which needs to be WALLPAPER, in my overbearing american opinion), but the url was too long, so the first ten comments I made have a bad url….but I have made many more comments since, so I hope you don’t mind, I am just so excited to share the kiu experience with all!
If you want I will remove the kiu url from my signature–of course, before doing so, I’ll have to install a democratically selected coalition gov’t–ooops–my bad, wrong country–it’s getting to be such a habit! Canada has NO reason to fear, honest, as long as they do what we tell them to…
yours in all things kitten and wasteful of time
miss_kitty
seattle
ps please say ‘hullo’ to my friend mary if you are ever in surbiton-she’d probably put the kettle on!

Dear Miss Kitty,
Well. I think you may have eclipsed (and just in time!) 'The Conspiracy Theory Guy' to win Message of the Year for 2003! What a WONDERFUL email (and of COURSE we don't mind you claiming Kittens in Underpants as your own! As the old saying goes, 'blatant theft is the highest form of flattery' - and we are PROUD to be affiliated with the notoriously glamorous Miss Kitty Woohoo. If there was ever a Kitten in Underpants, it is YOU, Madam! So KIU-esque are you that we feel you should become a contributor, and invite you to take up permanent residence with us.
Mutually swooningly yours,
Amanda xxx

Just came across your site. Whats it all about? Dont know, dont care. Its f'kin great anyway. Love it!
Keep up the good work. Totally agree with your choices of hot women. Gillian Anderson and Louise Brooks.
mmmm
Nick

Hi, Nick!
'What's it all about?' WASTING OUR TIME TO HELP YOU WASTE YOURS! And it looks like we succeeded! SO glad you like the site, Nick! And thanks ever so much for writing!
With love and kisses,
Amanda xxx

Utterly fabulous site and supercool pictures.
Thanks ladies!
Sally

Sally,
Thank you SO MUCH! Clearly, you are a Kitten in Underpants yourself (we're rare, us kittens, so we're always thrilled when we find a fellow KIU-er.) Thanks ever so much for writing to us; it's emails like yours that REALLY make it all worthwhile (and I totally mean that!)
Happy Holidays and Big Kisses,
Amanda xxxx

after perusing this utterly vacuous time and energy wasting "website" I can conclude only that it must be a joke or the lack of work by pompous mentally deficiant self deluded pseudo cyber geek dorks still seeking parental and or societal peer approval to gratify their inherent need to be accepted by there disasociated and equally mindless peer group of self imploding choice. YOU ARE CONSUMING BANDWIDTH! GET OFF THE NET YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!
NoRetro@yahoo.com

Dear NoRetro@yahoo.com,
Goodness. What an unhappy tirade. Let me help you.
You begin your unpunctuated diatribe with your conclusion that "it must be a joke." Ah, had you only stopped there. Had you done, you would have saved yourself from looking like an arse. Yes, much of Kittens in Underpants IS a joke, but clearly, too clever a joke for you (or any of your friends at the trailer park) to 'get'.
However, unpleasant though your email was (deary me, WHAT a state to get yourself into!), you have in your own (very little) way echoed the sentiments directed by the less-than-bright public towards The Italian Futurists, The Dadaists and every one of the Weimar greats. Whilst I'm certain that you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I would like to THANK YOU (genuinely) for helping us adhere to our Cathar principals: there can be no good without bad, no brilliance without shite, and (in your case) no fans without People-Who-Hate-Us. But do you really hate us, noretro@yahoo.com? Or do you secretly want to BE us? Do you, perhaps, harbour a secret desire to be a Kitten in Underpant but know (deep down) that you just don't have it in you? Who's to say? I don't pretend to be a student of psychology; I leave that to the experts. What I DO know, however, is that Kittens in Underpants awoke within you feelings which can only be described as primeval. Surely, this is a good thing. At last, you feel ALIVE! You feel ready to FIGHT! You have woken from your slumber with a spirit in your soul!!! BRAVO! Yes! You must fight us! You must hate us! And above all, noretro@yahoo.com - you must LIVE! YES, noretro@yahoo.com - go out and beat the drum of dissent! Light the blue touch-paper of desire! Feel the passions which are currently running through your veins and USE THEM FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND! We are BEHIND you, noretro@yahoo.com! We are ROOTING for you! THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYRS WILL WATER THE MEADOWS OF FRANCE!
Adieu, My Brave Boy!

Amanda --
I recently came across your review of Arthur @ the Academy -- and I just wanted to say I thought it was spot on . . .
Your review reflected exactly my own feelings about (a) Forever Changes and (b) seeing it performed live. Not that we were at the same gig. (Arthur Lee in my old home town, 35 years after I bought the album there, if only!) I saw the Brighton show a few days earlier, but yes it was exactly the same. Right on time, the band walked on stage = "Anyone else would have kept us waiting . . . there he was . . . just a few feet away." And he was! Your review brought it all back to me, which is just what a good piece should do -- remind people who were there, and give the flavour to those who weren't.
Like you, this was the second time I'd seen Arthur on stage -- but Croydon, 1970 . . . well, he was still a kid then, didn't know what a timeless masterpiece he'd created in Forever Changes and only performed one of the tracks. (At my advanced age, that's all I can really remember about the show.)
Yrz,
Noel Rush

Dear Noel,
Thank you so much for your lovely email, which - in turn - brought back for ME wonderful memories of that special night. You know, it still amazes me how few people are aware of the sublime Arthur Lee. But you know what? I secretly LIKE it that way, don't you?
With all best wishes,
Amanda (somewhere between Clark and Hilldale)

Dear Amanda
Over the past two days whenever I type anything at all into Google Search I get something on your site. Now to me this is strange because there are like millions of websites in the world but each time I put something in if it doesn't come up with your site on the FIRST PAGE it will come up with it on the FOURTH page or sometimes further on like the TENTH PAGE. Your site is not a porn site but it has a name that some may think is porn but I do not believe that you knew that or even thought that when you made it up. Do you know that we are entering what PEOPLE are calling PX9 It is like a time when the secret societys that run the world and are linked to underground goverment facilitys start coming to the surface and begin to take control through computers by sending messages to people. They already do this of course but we don't know it yet because they know that man's brain takes a certain amount of time before it learns to process new data in the inconscious. PX9 has been using sites like Amazon and Yahoo since the begining but now they will use smaller sites but sites that they know people stay on for a while because they need a certain amount of time on the site for the subliminal messages to take affect and because your site CAME UP so many times on Google I think that your site has been chosen.
Maybe I'm wrong and maybe you know this and are ok with it but I thought you should know that your site has possibly been targeted by PX9. I'm not trying to freak you out or anything but it is weird that I keep getting forwarded to your site like this and what with this whole thing about to happen I thought I better write just in case you didn't know.

(This is one for Agent Mulder; I'm passing on this one.)

Aloha
Just wana say that we are all big fans down here at the Pepsi plant on beautiful Hawaii.
Dave,Jay,Eric,Pico,Scott,Kin,John and the gang

ALOHA, GUYS -
I have no idea why, but your email suddenly made me feel like I was Betty Grable!
And WHAT a nice feeling that is!
Thanks, guys -
Amanda

Has anyone ever told you that you look like American actress Angie Dickinson?
(She was in Policewoman in case you remember that show and was at one time married to the music writer Burt Bacharach)
G.D.

Yeah, G.D. Actually, someone else told me that once.
But we'll let the viewers judge for themselves. Here's a picture of the former Mrs Barcharach...

Dear Amanda
I've been visiting KIU for about three months and it suddenly occured to me to ask you this, why aren't you on t.v or in the movies or something? You are soooooooooo funny and sooooooooo cute you should really try out for the movies.
Just an idea
Brian

Brian, you are soooooooo right! Sadly, however, I must give Hollywood a miss. My schedule being what it is, I am currently unable to be both an unsuccessful novelist AND a movie star.
Nice idea though,
Amanda xxxx

I'M FROM PERU!!!!

(Please Look After This Bear)

I just found your site and I like it but I don't get it. What is it exactly?
John, PA

Easy: Wasting our time to help you waste yours!

Okay. This was unsigned and I'll confess... I'm scared!
(To be said in the voice of A. Partridge)

YOU ARE IGNORANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband is an American Marine who just came back from Iraq. How funny that some dumb ass chic that runs a silly little website can be so bold to say there aren't any WMD in Iraq... He was there and found plenty of evidence himself that there were such weapons there at one time. So, unless you somehow get involved in international relations with the Middle East, keep your opinions, and advice to yourself!!!! You are dumb and ingorant!!!!!
The Jackways

Mrs Jackway, you described me as a dumb ass 'chic'. I take this as a great compliment, as I have always tried my best to adhere to a very high level of style and glamour, so to be described as chic by someone so obviously intune with international fashion (and etiquette) as yourself is high praise indeed.
As to weapons of mass destruction: you said that your husband found 'plenty of evidence'. May I be so bold (oh, I am, aren't I) as to ask why we (ie. the world at large) have yet to see this evidence? Oh, wait: you write that your husband found evidence of weapons of mass destruction being there 'at one time'. Of this, I have no doubt: in the Middle Ages, the corpses of those who died of Black Death were catapulted over castle walls to infect those within, the plague spreading and killing up to two thousand people. Mass destruction if ever there was one. I am left to surmise that your husband happened upon the fossilised bones of such an individual.
However, when I wrote of Weapons of Mass Destruction, I was speaking of weapons which can be identified without the use of carbon dating.
Best wishes to you and your neighbours in the trailer park,
Amanda

Amanda are you like a model or something you're beautiful what does a guy have to do to get get a date with you

PUNCTUATE!

"I LIKE WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME"
Michel Polnareff

I'm glad you liked it!
And to know what the legendary French pop star is talking about, please check out our Ultimate Tribute to Michel Polnareff

Hi there,
Are any of you girls single?
Stan xxx

My dear Stan,
If you're asking the question (and we're flattered that you ARE!), I think you can also probably guess the answer. Kittens in Underpants aren't the kinda gals who stay single for long, but if any of our current flames find themselves on the critical list, we'll let ya know....
The Girls xxx

Hi Kittens,
I don't know who you guys are or how I came across your site, but after a couple of hours of browsing, I thought I should thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon of intelligent escapism (yay, I now have something intelligent to do). You guys rock. The wit, flavoured with cynicism and general well-informed banter made it easy to stay.
Hey, about this French business - can we please include the language? Reason: I have a pet peeve; the assumed classiness attached to any English sentence containing any French word or wordette. Any number of times have I had to deal with folk who consider themselves posh just for the two and a half words of that devilish dialect which they know, having no connection with the country whatsoever. Pox on them! (and the chicks who swoon over them)
There, that's off my chest, thanks to you. Blessings.
Fav. Quote: WARNING: This product may contain nuts. (I knew there was a reason I liked it)
Stephen
PS - What's wrong with Journey?!! Barry Manilow and 'em have nothing in common (with regard to *my* likes), thanks very much. : )

Dear Stephen,
With praise like this, you might just be looking at the Message of the Year award! Wow. Thanks for saying such great things about the site and - far more importantly - us. Whilst we agree with everything you say about the French language, we are baffled as to where you found any mention whatsoever of Journey on our site (but we're taking your word for it. We'd do a massive search for the mention, but - obviously - we can't be arsed.) In saying that, the reference to Journey may have been made by a former writer who we subsequently got rid of due to creative/political differences, and we can therefore take no responsibility whatsoever for his actions vis-a-vis said band.
Stephen, you rock! And if you DO win the Letter of the Year award, you can expect a trip to England (no expense spared or, indeed, offered) to meet the Kittens in Underpants!
Kisses,
The Kittens x

Hi Amanda!
Just wanted to say that I really love your articles in the Foe section. You have a great style of writing and it was really amusing reading all this stuff...
Well, just wanted to say that... :-)
Bye
Andreas (from Germany, btw).

Guten Taggen (sp?) Andreas!
Thank you SO MUCH for writing! I'm so pleased that you like our 'Foe' section, and if YOU have any foe you'd like to 'out' in public, please feel free! We're more than happy to help!
You are from Germany. This is good news, because two of my very favourite artists are German; Otto Dix and George Grosz. Also, one of my all-time favourite films is German ('M', by Fritz Lang), and - (most importantly) - I thought Germany's entree in this year's Eurovision Song Contest was GREAT, and really tried to resurrect the TRUE Eurovision spirit.
Andreas - you're tops!
Thanks for writing,
Kisses,
Amanda xxx

Dear Kittens,
Wonderful stuff. One of you popped your head into MCCM bath (Walcot computer shop) and said hi. If you had not done this I would never have known such joy. Love this page:
http://www.kittensinunderpants.com/main_menu/manifesto.html
top quotes:
"the multi-coloured and polyphonic surf of revolutions in modern capitals"
"Feminism has no place here"
"We love boys! (GIFF US SUM!!!)"
Like also the interest in Futurism. Always a good thing in any "rant" style site.
Lotsa Love,
Simon and Liz.

Hi, Simon and Liz -
WOW! That's just the sort of message that keeps us plugging away - day in, day out - on KIU. You are clearly a pair with tremendous intelligence and good taste, and (so far) the ONLY people who have cottoned onto the Futurism bit (and the metaphysical meaning vis-a-vis its inclusion in the site.)
In short, you ROCK!
And thanks so much for writing!
With kisses,
The Kittens in Underpants Team xxx

Hullo.
I found your delightful siteweb on the internet, looking for information on Rock Godd Mr John Shuttleworth to lavish upon my oft-bemused pals. Ouff.
Not wanting to start a sentence with a conjunctive, and what a site it is. It's educational, touching, funny and quite attractive. I'll have to pop back.
I wish I'd thought of it. Well done, you.
Much love
jimbo
Partial to a slice or two of cheshire cheese and the "copy" key on a BBC micro.

Hello, Jimbo!
Ouff! It is rare that we encounter such discerning gentlemen here at Kittens in Underpants. Your charming missive succeeded; you have 'impressed an impresario', and we shall all 'wear something short...in Lincoln green' today in your honour (and then have a quick spin to the garden centre and toast you with a nice campuccino.)
Jimbo...Rock On! And thanks SO much for writing; it really made our day.
Kisses, Amanda

arthur lee and michel polnareff
Both in the same place and not in JD’s 1968 record collection
I bow to you (not as in bow wow, tho there is a wow there of course)
Love etc
lizzyb

Hi, Lizzie! Thanks for your message; it's good to know that there are ohters out there with an exceptionally good taste in music! Kisses, Amanda x

Hi,
A message on the Love message board directed me to your Liverpool review...
Brilliant!
A wonderful piece of writing, best music review I've ever read - of course it helps that it's positive about one of my favourite records/bands of all time (there's a few I wouldn't care to choose between).
I went to the Oxford concert on the tour, so knew what you were experiencing and I have to say that your words summed up all my feelings that night and brought them all flooding back.
Thanks
Nick

Wow, thanks Nick! But that review wasn't really my doing - it was the work of Arthur Lee! HE inspired that bit of writing - and I'm still buzzing from the best gig I've ever been to! Thank you so much for writing!
Take care and kisses, Amanda x

Hi,
Just found ure site and read the 'where are they now' section on M.L. It's criminal that he's disappeared from public view as he seems to grown into a WELL GORGEOUS man from my first crush on him all those years ago in the Red Hand Gang. You MUST try to find him for me - life won't be the same until i know what he's upto nowadays.He might be married with a family - i do hope not!!!!!!!!!!!! God i feel like a teenager again!! Keep up the good work.
Sharon.

Don't worry Sharon, I am on the case. Please believe me when I say that no one's life will be the same until Matthew Laborteaux is found. He has been tracked down as far as the Denver airport in the summer of 2001. M.L. also made an appearance in last year's Josh Harnett vehicle "40 Days." Hopefully, more up-to-date information is forthcoming. This is why I would like to once again ask that anyone who may have knowledge of Matthew Laborteaux's whereabouts to please get in touch. We love him and miss him and would just like to know that he is safe and happy.
- Caitlyn.

Hey Kittens!
I just wanted to say, THANKS for filling my day with such wonderfully funny, as well as interesting, things to read to get me through my day! I have visited on several occassions, but I haven't gone through the site as thoroughly as I did today.
Amanda...the Hardy's are now on my list of The Despised! I can't believe that people would be so horrendous to a guest. Glad you dumped the JERK! Madman Alan...excellent "True Crimes" story. But definitely not a fun trip to go on...unless of course you are Mad Alan. BTW, how are the 'horns' growing these days?
I must agree...Victoria does beat Ginger overall, as well as Oliver vs. Tiny Tim. For some reason, when I first read the title of that little bit, I thought of Tiny Tim & tiptoeing through the tulips. I was thinking to myself, 'what on earth does Tiny Tim, the singer (if you can call it that) have with lil' Oliver Twist?' BTW...I was glad to read the interview with Mark Lester. I have loved that movie since I first saw it about 16 years ago. I've always wondered happened to the talented tyke. I'm jealous! I wanted to meet him!
Caitlyn...I would concur that highschool wasn't the greatest, but damn, I miss those locker-rooms! Now that is something I yearn for! Bring back the days of GLORY!
Oh, & Barry Manilow is wonderful. He found his niche & in the words of RuPaul..."You betta work!" He's worked it well. I would go to a concert of Barry's anytime. "Two Ships that Pass in the Night", "I Write the Songs", "Looks Like We Made It", "Mandy" & the list goes on & on. Don't forget he also wrote the BandStand Theme for Dick Clark. Now, who doesn't get down to that?
Okay, my day is at an end. Enjoyed all that I have read. Caitlyn, you might be right about bin Laden having AIDS...at least it's something new that I never thought about.
Take Care & I'll be checking ya out tomorrow!
Much Love to the Kittens!
David C.

David -
You're a STAR - and an honourary Kitten in Underpants if we ever saw one!
Your mutual fans-
The Kittens in Underpants team. xxx

GREAT JOB!!!!
I just read your bio about this awesome singer. I am 51, lived in Geneva, Switzerland from 1967 to 1974, and was totally in love with Michel, I did see him in concert once in Geneva, it was the best. Thanks to you I know what's happened to him. By chance, I was listenting to a very old album, and thought I'd look him up on the internet. SO AMANDA.. HATS OFF TO YOU!! it's a great article, i'd love to know what he looks like now :) he is pushing 60 but, is probably still a babe!
thanks,
Mary

Hi, Mary!
Thanks so much for your wonderful letter! Us Polnareff fans are few and far between, and therefore must stick together! Actually, he agreed to do an interview for Kittens in Underpants before Christmas, and I sent him the questions...and he never wrote back. I excuse him because I think he's a bit mental (and of course - when a guy rejects you - you just end up lovin' him MORE!). As to what he looks like now, I think if you go to his official website (www.polnaweb.com), there's some recent pics of him. He's looking quite good; very long blonde hair and big muscles (he moved to California, married a bimbo, and took up weight training.)
Eccentric though he is, I reckon he's one of the world's best songwriters, and was very glad to see that there were those two 'Tribute to Polnareff' albums which came out a couple of years ago, with his songs being covered by people like Marc Almond and Pulp. (You can get them from Amazon.com, I think.)
Anyway, thank you so much for writing!
Kisses,
Amanda x

I'd like to first say, "WOW" to Amanda. Just "WOW."
I learned of your website from my ex-girlfriend, who is, by the way, French. We still exchange a little "friendly-fire" and I constantly tease her for her Frenchness, something which began long before we ever became involved. Recently, to support her claim of French superiority, she led me to your "Bless the French" page, not expecting me to check out the rest of the site (or perhaps not checking out the entire site herself). I have since bombarded her with other articles from your website supporting my point of view. Fran's not happy, but many thanks for the ammunition.
I do have to disagree with the statement that French women do not have sex. I can't remember a single time that any request was turned down, other than one for some hair-trimming activity. What is it with the French and hair? I just haven't figured it out.
I'd also like to sincerely praise your sense of taste and talent in design. The site is a masterpiece of post-internet art. A delectable source of sub-politically-correct views from women I can truly respect. I will be checking back often.
Keith, presently located in Kuwait

Hi, Keith!
Well! I'd like to say WOW to YOU, for sending the best letter I've received this year! You are obviously a man in possession of deep intelligence, urbain suavity, lightening wit (and you are also probably very 'fit'. Gotta pic?). Vis-a-vis Fran being French AND 'putting out'; I think you lucked out there, Keith; whilst I still stand by my statement that French women don't like having sex, there are always 'mavericks', and clearly, Fran found you so irresistable that she was unable to contain her Frenchness around your charms. She may be French, but she's only human!
And thank you for your enthusiastic comments and lavish praise regarding the Kittens in Underpants design. This is extremely gratifying, because we 're-vamped' the site over Christmas, putting a lot of thought and time into our 'concept', and to have it noticed, applauded and coined 'Post Internet' is just....well, it's just FAB!
What are you doing in Kuwait?! Please tell all! And do give our best to Fran next time you speak to her. Tell her that if she wants to write up a reasonable defense of her nation, we will happily put it up on the site: we may be obnoxious show-offs, but always try to be fair. (Kind of.)
Keep in touch, Mr Keith! You're our kinda guy!
Amanda x

Hi there,
I first happened upon Kittens in Underpants a couple of months ago and thought it was cool, and then forgot all about it. I was bored at work the other day and remembered your site. I clicked in, and thought I'd come to the wrong place. Your new look is AMAZING. I've never seen anything like it on the web before. As a designer myself, I saw immediately the retro '20s-meets-'70s-revamp-of-the-'20s look you were going for. This is a totally new look for websites, and I congratulate the team that put it together. Terrific!
David, New York City.

Dear David,
Thank you so much for writing and recognising the 'look' we were going for. We too are delighted with the revamped KIU, and are very pleased indeed to find that it has sophisticated, urbain and highly intelligent fans over there in New Yawwk. Love,
Amanda & Caitlyn (PS: Are you fit? Have you got a pic?)

OMG! I was looking for RECENT information on Mark Lester, and there you were, Kittens in Underpants! Gotta love ya! Thanks for the fabulous interview.
Yes, Mark was a cute then, and is still a hottie now!
Ciao!
Kate in Philly, PA, USA

Hi, Kate!
So glad to hear from another M.L fan! That guy ROCKS HARD! And it's also great to hear from a Pennsylvanian, as our very own Caitlyn hails from Pottstown, PA - not a million miles from you! Thank you so much for writing, and Happy 2003!
Kisses,
The Kittens (All obsessed with Mark Lester!)