Occupation

Rock Star

Residence

The banks of the Merseysippi

Date of birth

27/07/79 (the same day legendary blues man Lightnin’ Slim died. Do you believe in reincarnation?)

Sees himself as

The greatest (as-yet) undiscovered songwriter of the 21st century.

Others see him as

Some twat with a guitar.

Fave music

Doves, Super Furry Animals, The La’s and anything from the 60’s.

Fave films

The Blues Brothers, Tremors.

Signature drink

Depends whose round it is.

Favourite lyrics

“You can’t buy time, but you can sell your soul, and the closest thing to heaven is to rock and roll.” Roddy Frame.

“What do you get when you kiss a girl? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia, and then when you do, she’ll never phone ya.” Hal David.

Lyrics that best describe him

“My god, what have I done?” David Byrne

Top chicks

Kylie, Phillipa Forrester, Charlize Theron, Carol Vorderman, Caitlyn + Amanda, and that short bird who used to work in the Odeon.

Top ferrets

Owen Wilson for president, William Shatner for Secretary of State and Columbo for Secretary of Defence.

For fun

Drinking, playing guitar, being a narky fuck, giving up smoking, starting bands and then firing everyone after 6 weeks.

Can’t stand

Margarine, people who haven’t got a clue, Coronation Street, cups of tea, people off their head on beak.

Most attractive quality

Impressive guitar collection.

Least attractive quality

Ridiculous habit of collecting guitars.

Motto

“If you aren’t angry about anything, then you’re not living hard enough” - J Geiska Navarro, modern day philosopher.