By Caitlyn Hallman

I love Kate Winslet.  I love Kate Winslet with a passion that most people reserve for deities or luxury cars.  I have longed to be Kate Winslet.  I have longed to be Kate Winslet’s best friend, and even though have must admit my sexual preference usual lends itself towards boys, if I thought for one second I could ‘get’ Kate Winslet, I would renounce boys for the rest of my life and give it a shot.

‘What’s so great about Kate Winslet?’ you ask. What could possibly drive me to this state of mad adoration and sheer devotion?  Lucky for you, I have compiled a list.

1. She’s beautiful
   
   – Not pretty.  Not cute.  But full out beautiful.  In the classic sense. Not in the anemic, mealy mouthed way we’ve gotten used to (hello, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz and Cate Blanchett).  Her facial features are strong and prominent: wide eyes, high cheek-bones, full lips, and (shock-horror) big nose.  It’s the kind of face that would look at home as much in a Renaissance painting as it does on a Vogue cover.

2. She’s sexy
   
   – Sexy in the way a woman should be sexy.  She has breasts and hips and even a little bit of an arse.  It’s a very unfashionable sort of figure for Hollywood types these days (that’s why there’s always so many articles about her weight not to mention scandal when it turned out that GQ slightly altered her photo on this month’s cover).  But she looks fantastic in a corset (fortunately she often does historical dramas) and let’s face it lads, if she’d walk into your local and came over to you on a Saturday night, you’d consider yourself very lucky indeed.

3. She’s a great actress
   
   – From her first film (Heavenly Creatures) she has played difficult roles and has done so with all seeming ease.  She was the youngest actress ever to be nominated for three Oscars, and she did a brilliant job in the otherwise tepid Titanic (who Leo?).

4. She’s challenging
   
   – Kate Winslet films are not the easiest sort of pop corn fodder possible.  They are rather films that make you think, that make you feel, and at times make you rather uncomfortable (maybe because she tends to be stark naked in them).  The characters she plays are uncompromising and often extreme.  She’s the type of actress who demands concentration and attention from the audience.

5. She’s normal
   
   – Or at least seems that way in interviews.  You can’t find an article about her which doesn’t mention her normalcy.  She’s a divorced mum who wear jeans and jumpers, not much make-up, eats normal food, and has never been in the center of a kidnapping plot.  How refreshing!

6. She’s a bit excessive
   
   – She’s talks a lot, smokes a lot, holds strong opinions, and has been known to enjoy a bevvie.  In other words, a typical KIU girl then.