GRETA GARBO

Check out any one of her films—especially the silent pictures. Garbo is the queen of femme-fatales. She is sexy and elegant, whether scantily clad as a dancing spy (Mata Hari) or hacking up a lung from tuberculosis (Camille). She retired in her mid 30’s and lived off her film fortune until she died in her late 90’s. Whatta thrifty gal!

MEGAN MULLALLY

I was a late bloomer when it came to “Will & Grace”, but it took only five minutes into my first episode to fall in love with “Karen”. (“Grace” is a hottie in her own right, but “Karen” definitely captured my loins.) She’s the only woman I could describe as “voluptuous”. But it’s not just about her looks (though they do dress her up all nice and purdy on the show). She’s also a fine comedienne, and I dig on chicks who can make me laugh. She’s one of those sexy, distinguished older women types. Prrrr…

CARRIE-ANNE MOSS

Carrie-Anne is HOT, and not only when shrink-wrapped in latex and jumping headlong through windows in “The Matrix”; she is just as hot portraying the low-class girlfriend-of-a-drug-dealer in “Memento”. I did lose a shard of respect for her when she bared all to Val Kilmer in “Red Planet”. (I was hoping, you know, that she would save herself for me.) That’s not to say I averted my eyes when her naked body was on screen. Oh, no, no, no…

AGENT DANA SCULLY

Gillian Anderson is a pretty woman, but it’s not Ms. Anderson that I was interested in. It was Agent Scully. True, it took a few seasons for her to bloom from geeky med school grad into the stylish FBI agent investigating unexplained phenomenon in designer suits and massive heels. [Compare first season Scully with sixth season Scully. BIG difference.] She was sexy, SMART, calm and collected—-except when attacked my bees in the X-Files movie-- which is understandable. Oh, and she never jumped to conclusions like, “Maybe it was a vampire, or an alien, or a moth man”. No, Dana drew conclusions based on SCIENTIFIC FACTS.

SIOUXSIE SIOUX

Siouxsie has yet to be stripped of her title as ‘Longest Running Crush’. I saw the video for “Spellbound” and was never the same again. Friends and family members were given strict instructions to CALL ME whenever this video was on so that I didn’t miss it. Oddly enough, they did. Even my mother (who HATED the video) would use a cane to bang on the vent that led to my bedroom, “Honey, your video is on.” When I FINALLY saw Siouxsie in concert (The Creatures), she sauntered on stage, UNNANOUNCED, to join the opening act in a duet. I WASN’T READY! My face flushed; I got weak in the knees and was struck with the urge to rush the stage and stroke her shoes. I didn’t, thankfully. But after the song, I clutched my brother’s arm and squealed, “She looked right at me!” “Don’t be silly,” he said, “she was looking at me.” Jerk.

STEVIE NICKS

My Nicks crush lasted from the “Tusk” album on and off through to “Mirage”, including the solo “Bella Donna” period. I look back at Nicks now and I don’t really find her all that attractive (past or present) but… I heard a rumor about how the cousin of so-and-so’s friend, who worked in a hotel in New York City, walked in to deliver room service to Ms. Nicks and found her in the middle of a lesbian orgy! I believe this story to be the truth and nothing but the truth.