By Comrad Amanda Hallayski
With the current situation in Iraq (and all the implications for the coalition governments), many of you have written in asking us at KIU to help you decide what you think.
We are very happy to help.
Here are some of the questions you have asked us (and if you don’t agree with our answers, well….We’ll shoot you.)
SHOULD WE HAVE GONE TO WAR?
Yes n’ no. We should have gone in and deposed Saddam - but we shouldn’t have gone in under the false pretences of weapons of mass destruction (cuz there aren’t any).
SHOULD BLAIR RESIGN?
Yes, we’re afraid he should. He’s made a right dog’s bollocks of all this, and we think he should crawl out of Bush’s tight arse, give the old ‘want to spend more time with my family’ speech - and just resign.
IS THERE ANYTHING NICE TO BE SAID ABOUT SADDAM?
Why, yes. True, he was an evil dictator and mass murderer - but he did have something going for him. What was it? Well, in a word - style. The smoking jackets, the cigars, the firing-guns-into-the-air, Saddam had all the qualities of an ‘old school’ despot; he played the part to the hilt, and with his ‘no half measures’ approach to both life and death (the death of others), he’s left us in little doubt as to the rightness of our actions. Stylish though he was, Saddam was bad news; he had to go.
ARE THERE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN IRAQ?
No. There never was. How do we know that? Well, DURR; when your country is being invaded, what’s the first thing you’re gonna grab? YOUR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, RIGHT?!
IS IRAQ BECOMING THE NEW VIETNAM?
Yes, Iraq is becoming the new Vietnam (but without the psychedelic music and peace-signs-on-helmets).
SHOULD THE U.S HAVE SHOWN THOSE PHOTOS OF SADDAM’S DEAD SONS?
Certainly not; they were gross. However, they could have had a link to the photos or something if people wanted to see for themselves that they were dead, not have their dead, fly-infested faces blown up and shown on the front page of the daily newspapers. Kids and old ladies could have nightmares after seeing that sort of thing.
If you have any more questions that you’d like us to answer about Iraq (or anything else for that matter), just drop us a line; we’re here to help (and then we’ll probably blow up the world, or something. When we get into power, it’ll go to our heads.)
