At this very moment, while I write this, President Bush is in Camp David working on his State of the Union speech. I wish him luck, because his speech coincides with my State of the Onion one.

Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished readers, honourable Hamzters, blind followers and supporting riff-raff. Gutt iffninckz.

Now stop giggling, we're getting serious.

On 17 March 2003, as American troops crossed the Iraqi border, I wrote the following article that proves me a failed visionary:

By ignoring opposition in the Security Council and opting for unprovoked war against Iraq, the US is entering a new era of world conflict. Because of its huge economic and political power, few nations will openly challenge the US or call it a rogue nation. However defense policy of most countries will have to include the contingency of attack by the US. This will lead to the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, and increased support for terrorist groups intent on causing damage to the US.

It is safe to predict that the war against Iraq will not last very long. However, if the Iraqi population decides to resist, the battles for Baghdad, Sulaymaniyah and other urban centers could drag out for weeks. A good example was the battle for Grozny. On the final days of the war it is quite possible that the remains of biological or chemical stocks in Iraq will be transferred to terrorist groups or underground resistance. Notice how wrong I was on WMDs.

Iraq's territory is large. To occupy it will require a large number of troops scattered throughout the country, which in turn will become targets. American forces with their lack of linguistic ability are ill suited to maintain tight control. Allied proxies and militias will not be very dependable. With the Jihad mentality sweeping through the Middle East, the US occupation of Iraq will be a costly operation.

It is safe to assume that the US decision to ignore world opinion, has demolished NATO as a viable organization. The UN will continue to exist with the US considered, at least unofficially as a rogue nation. It is quite possible that Blair's government in the will fall and the UK rejoin its natural European allies.

France has been at the forefront in defying the US quietly being propped up by Russia. The German government has been indicating closer ties with Russia. China and Russia are emerging as natural allies. Thus we can foresee the quiet emergence of a Eurasian block that will oppose US economic and military expansion.

Because of US enormous economic clout this block will not be openly belligerent for some time. We will probably see some withdrawal of foreign capital from the US economy. If this happens it will severely damage the US economy and create a balance of payments problem. This is happening. Notice the value of the dollar slipping vs. the euro.

With more logistical support, Islamic terrorist organizations will become more capable of attacking targets inside the US and cause severe damage to US commerce. For the moment, the Department of Homeland Security is doing a great job of this.

So far in this scenario we have not included the upcoming problems involving Iran and the Koreas. The present situation will destabilize the world and bring about difficult to imagine consequences. 

Thank you for the applause. Hamzters please refrain from spitting until I'm finished with the speech.

As predicted, the assault on Iraq did not last long and formal military resistance was light. Iraqi commanders failed the exploit the situation when American forward elements found themselves caught in a sand storm. Without fuel and ammunition, these units were extremely vulnerable.

As armoured columns approached Baghdad, we must remember Secretary Rumsfeld's hostile rhetoric toward Syria--aaand (here comes the interesting bit) the destruction of six Abrahms tanks. What makes this episode fascinating, is the appearance of a small number of Kornet anti-tank missiles on the battle field. Apparently, a batch of approximately ten demo missiles made their way to the front lines.

Although the Russian manufactures claim an 80% success rate for the Kornet. The 60% success rate in Iraq is still impressive. Syria wasted no time to equip its army with Kornets. Rumsfeld's hostility toward Syria became muted.

Even though the carnage in Iraq continues, the world can breathe a little bit easier. Mr. Bush and his Pentagon warmongers have demonstrated that their preemptive strike policy is as full of holes as those Abrahms tanks stopped by the Kornets. It is too bad that senior American military staff did not oppose the Bush administration's Iraq folly with the same vigor they attacked a badly prepared second rate army.

The Hamzters have a special sale of rubber stamps for American congressmen and senators.

In the next issue -- Shockingly explosive -- the best kept secret in the USA. Why Saddam was not removed during the First Gulf War.