Chief Hamzter came aboard the orbiting mother ship and entered the communications center.
DecryptoHamzter greeted him. "Wuzzup Chief?"
"Get any good New Year intercepts?"
DecryptoHamzter tamped gunpowder into his pipe, lit it and inhaled deeply until smoke came out of his rear. "Sure thing, Chief." He reached for a pile of signals on his desk. "Thank you messages to the White House."
Chief Hamzter adjusted the temperature of his spacesuit to cool, sat down and read:
Mon chere Georges,
Freedom fries, you certainly put freedom to the test. Anyway, it doesn't matter, we call them pommes frites.
Your friend, Jaques.

Dear Mr. Prez:
I want to personally thank you for removing that nasty Sadam and opening the country for us. We also appreciate your providing targets for my people to practice on.
Your faithful servant,
Osama Bin Ladin.

George,
Can you recommend a good dog groomer in Washington? Too many fleas biting me here.
Your poodle, Tony

Herr Bush,
Thank you for providing me with a winning electoral platform.
Shroeder.

My good friend George,
Thanks for throwing old Europe into my lap. For centuries we've been waiting for the opportunity.
Your pal, Vladimir

We appreciate the road map. Where is the damn car?
Yassir Arafat.

Chief Hamzter frowned as he re-read the next message:

Head rest, utilization nocturnal-13 medium density, airtransferable-1058/5987-AR 1523. Personal. Cloth cotton summer white, reversible to white-2039 non-digestible, saliva resistant. Spec8936.

"What is this? You forgot to decipher."
DecryptoHamzter sat in his chair. "That's Sadam's request for an extra pillow."