How I Became a Locksmith

by Ginger Talasco

"How come you decided to become a Locksmith?" I've often been asked. "Was your dad a Locksmith......or what.....?"

No.  Actually I've just always been fascinated with locks. Even when I was a kid I used to have a basket of old locks that I'd spend hours taking apart and putting back together. While other little girls were playing with Barbie....I was…Ah...ah....

OK......OK.  Maybe customers and colleagues might buy that story, but I'm not so sure I could get away with it here. I hear others have tried to pull the wool over the eyes of "Kittens, who don underpants". I've heard their lies were quickly exposed and the outcome wasn't pretty. So I had better just tell the whole, silly, sordid, unprofessional, truth.

I was never fascinated with locks.

There was no basket.

I never even gave locks a second thought.

In fact, back in 1989, about all I was concerned with was the on again/off again love of my life, Victor Santiago.

Fighting and making up....... heaven one week...... hell the next......"I never want to see your stupid, lying face ever again"............."Oh my darling I'm so glad you called......I missed your beautiful face soooooo much!"

Oh he was a charmer all right, and he knew just how to get to me. It never failed.

See, whenever we broke-up for good, we'd do the "Flinging of the Keys". ‘HERE TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN KEYS BACK....AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE AND STAY OUT!!’  Ah.......but in a few days....sometimes a week, I'd come to my car and find  little tokens.......left by.... I couldn't imagine who......certainly not Victor, because he'd returned [flung] my car keys back. And in NYC nobody leaves their car unlocked.

Once I came out and found a giant plush kangaroo in the passenger seat with cartoons in it's pocket.  Another time there was a can of "Peanut Brittle" on the dash board.....of course, I "KNEW"......but didn't I go ahead and open it anyway?...........wouldn't you have?

Funny how each time I found stuff in my car that made me laugh.....Victor just happened to be passing by......and well........you know how it went.

But then one day we had a really BIG, BIG fight. I don't remember what it was about, but it was so big and I was so furious that after I flung his keys back at him I went and got my extra secret set and threw them out the window and right through the open window of his car as he drove off.  Pretty good shot, don't ya think?

So, it was finally over......and I was really, REALLY glad. I'd had just about enough of whatever it was I'd had just about enough of.

"Why don't ya just park your car in his front yard?" was the smart ass remark from my friend Pauline about three weeks later, when no cute, funny stuff appeared in my car.

Ok......I admitted......I was kinda missing him, and I may have sorta been parking near ....Ok, close to.....Ok maybe right across the street from............. his house.

But what was I supposed to do.....make the first move? NEVER!!

A week or so later while shopping for Halloween stuff I saw her....the cutest little witch ever. She was made to sit upright...but if you touched her at all she'd fall over on her side and start going ho ho ho...hee hee hee......

Wouldn't that be a neat thing to put in "somebody's" car? So I bought her!

Only one problem......I didn't have the keys.

"Honey...... they didn't make the car I can't open" said my friend Rocky the Tow Truck Driver.....a few days later.....You wanna get in Victor's car?.......just leave it to Rocky to unlocky"

But alas......even the cool and confident Rocky was no match for the new lock shields GM had put on those 81 and up Caddys.

So the little witch remained on a shelf in the hall closet.

Then one day I was at MD Kramer's Lock Supply ......to buy locks, and in their catalogue I saw a tool called.....ta da! "The Caddy Killer"!! Guaranteed to open any Caddy 1981 and up!

The Infamous 'Caddy Killer'

It opens any Caddy - and
changed Ginger's life.

"Hey Rod......I'll take one of these," I told the guy behind the counter. "Oh Ginger. I'm sorry,  I can't sell you that. You have to be a Licensed Locksmith to buy car opening tools. What do you want it for, anyway? Not thinking of breaking into Victor's car, are you?" "No of course not,” I told him. "No problem.......no big deal......Ah… where would I have to go to get a license......I mean, if I wanted one?"

Two hours later I was standing in line at the NYC Dept. of Consumer Affairs inching my way up toward the counter where for fifty dollars I could get my Locksmithing License.

Actually,when my turn came, all I got was an application for a Locksmithing License.

Over 18yrs of age? ......YES. US Citizen? YES. Ever been convicted of a felony......NO [please see other side]

Name, address & signature of Licensed Locksmith you have been apprenticed to for a minimum of two years.

Uh Oh........ Now that could be a problem.

But wait......there was more.......oh, this was better.

It said if you weren't employed by a locksmith you could still obtain a license by taking a test. PHEW!! That was good news......how hard could a test be?

Probably multiple choice.....a little luck.......a little faking......I was sure I'd be able pull it off.

It took a few weeks to get set up for the appointment to take the test.

I wasn't surprised to see I was the only woman there. The guy who was giving the test introduced himself and then said;."OK......we'll start with something easy.....then he proceeded to dump the contents of a mortise lock in front of each of us.......looked at his watch and said; "You've got 15minutes."

One look at all those bits and pieces and springs sent me out the door, down the hall and  into the street.

So much for the nice easy multiple choice?

Well......there was only one thing to do........good old fashion bribery.

I went back to consumer affairs with a $100. bill folded inside my application. The clerk found it and said "What's this.?"

I smiled and winked, but he still looked puzzled.

“It's bribery”, I said under my breath." "Oh,” he said. "We're not allowed to take bribery here, I could lose my job."

WELL!! HELL!!!......

OK......but I wasn't giving up yet. Locksmithing was a little more complicated then I first thought......but hey, I didn't need to really be a locksmith.....I just needed to somehow pass the test so I could get the license so I could get the caddy killer to open Victor's car and put the witch in.....which would make him laugh and  then I'd walk over while he was laughing....and we'd make up and live happily ever after.

I went to a hardware store and spent $80 on the kind of lock that was in the test. It took me quite a while to figure out how to even take it apart. But it took me the whole day to get it back together.

This was the lock the other guys were supposed to reassemble in under fifteen minutes? This was the part of the test the instructor had called "Something Easy"?

Ok......if I was going to get that license I might need a little professional help.

Somebody told me if I called NY Locksmithing School I could probably take a few classes.......learn enough to pass the test.

I called and they said they were closing in protest over a new law......something to do with student loans.

Scheech!!! It was one dead end after the other......but the more obstacles I encountered the more determined I became.

Finally I signed up for a full course from an accredited home study school which for $1,000.....I could expect to get a diploma in about 9 months.

But......surprise! The course was interesting.....and little by little....I began to get hooked.

In addition to the lessons.....the course provided tools and a duplicator plus other neat stuff I must admit I had lots of fun playing with.

Best of all after 9 months......I could finally walk into MDKramers and say...."Gimmie that Caddy Killer!"

Which I did......proudly displaying my brand new Locksmith License issued by the New York City Dept. of Consumer Affairs.

The good news was the guys and a few customers at Kramers were all really impressed and gathered round congratulating me.

The bad news was........they were all sold out of Caddy Killers!!!!

WHAT????? OH NO!!! THIS WAS TOO MUCH!

Rod did say they had kits that included a Caddy Killer......but they were $150. Awh.....what the heck.......I'd come this far......I took the kit!

On the way home I had a funny feeling. This was the day I'd been waiting for, for so long and yet......even though I was happy.....it seemed like there was something not quite right.

Well, time to look for the witch. I was pretty sure she was in the back of the closet but there was so much locksmithing stuff piled in there I had to drag it all out to get to the back.

Finally I found her and when I touched her she fell over and went ha............ha............ ho.....and that was it.

And that's when it hit me........I couldn't put the witch in Victor's car....I was a Licensed Locksmith now......I couldn't go around opening people's cars without their permission. Not even for the sake of true love.

You mean.......I asked myself......I went through all this for nothing?

Maybe......BUT MAYBE NOT!!! I had a pretty good key cutter and an assortment of about 400 of the most popular key blanks. I had picks & tools that I knew how to use......not to mention a brand new state of the art Deluxe Model Car Opening Kit......and I had a front room in my house I could easily turn into a small shop.....I also had a Sign from the School that said:

Ginger Talasco,
"Licensed Locksmith"

"Sorry Victor", I said out loud, as I tucked the little witch into a drawer......."No laughing Witch for you now...............I've got me a sign to hang."