After hours and days of writing, deleting, writing more, deleting again, and then just staring blankly at an empty page on the screen...there is one thing that resounds in my mind, okay maybe two things...'Thank God for computers' and secondly, the old adage, 'If you can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all'. Well, that's all fine and dandy, but I figure if somebody wants to be spoken of in a positive manner then they should not give cause to speak of them in ill terms. I have always felt it best to point out the good things before bringing up the bad. People usually remember the bad more than the good. It's like constructive criticism, always bring out the positive side first. If you talk about the negative first, then the good things you acknowledged will quickly be forgotten. A friend once told me, "You can do good deeds 95% of the time, but it's the 5% that people will remember." So...let's start with the good, shall we?

Like every newly formed couple, Duran and I made our single friends sick. We were 'googoolie-eyeing' over each other, and inseparable. One thing, I'm glad to report, is that we never wore matching outfits. That's just sickening! Why do couple think that's cute? Nevertheless, I was smitten with my "Angel-Heart" as I referred to him in the little love notes I left around the house when I would leave for work. Duran isn't a shy person, but when it comes to holding hands or being affectionate, he's somewhat standoffish, but that was fine with me. I really wasn't into shoving my tongue down his throat in the middle of Main Street either, but I did like to snuggle and hold him close. Duran was perfect for me. I loved the way he looked, he smelled, the little phrases and the gestures he used when he spoke. I was drunk with love. He could do no wrong, and any wrong that might have been done was swept under the carpet, after all...I didn't want to over-react. It was probably my fault anyway; I was always over-sensitve about things. Duran was Mr. Wonderful, and if anybody thought differently, then they simply didn't understand him the way that I understood him. I did have some friends that were wary about him, however they saw my happiness and didn't want to interfere. For the most part, as far as I could tell, Duran made people laugh ad they really seemed to enjoy his company.

Duran was, in a word, "Fagtabulous"! He was confident, assuring, reliable, talented, and extremely handy. If you were to meet Duran and myself, you would think that he was the 'submissive' one in the relationship and that I was the 'dominant' one. But...it's the other way around. Duran is flamboyant, as one of our friend's refers to him as "So Gay", but he can fix cars, walls, and doors, and at the same time he is a wonderful cook, and can make some beautiful things out of, what I consider, trash. He keeps things very clean, and I don't see how I could ask for more. I willingly admit, I was loving this spoiled life in which I was finding myself.

Almost every morning I would awake to a fantastic breakfast or lunch, depending on what my work shift might have been at the time. Duran cooked dinner as well, not because he didn't like my cooking, which he didn't, but because he really wanted to. I think that the only reason why we have been invited to friends' homes for dinner is because they know Duran will take over the cooking and even clean up the mess afterwards. I don't think he trusts anybody else in the kitchen.

Duran loves to decorate and redecorate. He can't stand things to stay the same for too long. Almost every other week I could count on the furniture being rearrange...thank God I'm not blind! Duran scrubbed the toilet, mopped the floors, he did the laundry, washed the dishes, cooked the meals, vacuumed, and even washed windows. I would let Duran use my car and he would always make sure that the oil was checked, the tires had air, and the car was shining and sparkling. If he heard one little noise, then it was cause for concern, and he would check into the problem right away. Something that I found annoying. I would turn a little squeak into a roaring squeal before I felt that there might be something that needed to get fixed. Tire tread didn't matter until the tire blew. Oil? What's that? Don't spark plugs last forever? Transmission and brake fluids are supposed to replenish themselves, right? And...back in Indiana we had rain to wash our windows; we didn't need any window washing liquid.

Now, don't get me wrong. I moved from Indiana after living 23 years with my mom and being raised around my four older sisters. I learned from them how to take care of myself, so cleaning, cooking, and laundry were not big issues for me. However, since I was working and Duran wasn't, I guess he felt he could do those things for me. I explained to him that I didn't need anybody to take care of me, but he insisted. Looking back I can see how I was acting like some kind of "Sugar Daddy", because I was giving him money every day so that he could go out and do whatever he wanted to do while I was at work. But trust me, I was nor am I now financially secure to be acting like anyone's "Sugar Daddy". And honey, if I am going to be your "Sugar Daddy", you need to be look'in like Julio Iglesias Jr.! However, this is not the case with Duran, so let's move on.

Duran made me happy, although I was not looking for anybody to make me happy. I wanted to have somebody to share my life with, and Duran seemed like he 'fit the bill'. Duran kept life interesting. He always wanted to go out and do something. He didn't care if it was hiking up a mountain, playing basketball, tubing down the Salt River, or playing cards and board games. He loved staying active, where I was little more reserved. I enjoy watching my television shows, watching football, and staying away from areas that are extremely public. Duran helped to bring me out of that shell, and even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I am grateful that he pushed me to be more social. It has been a positive for me.

Duran also loved to take care of me, along with everything else. He said that he hated for me to get stressed out. Well, sometimes I could get a little stressed, but who doesn't? Nevertheless, I was more than happy to relinquish my worries to Duran. And why wouldn't I? I trusted Duran with everything. He took care of me when I was sick. He always made sure that I was comfortable. He would encourage me to take things easy and just let things work out themselves. Duran began handling the bills, and I was left with hardly any responsibilities, except for going to work everyday and keeping Duran entertained when I arrived home. Not really a bad deal when all is taken into consideration. Ah, this was the life.

-------------------------------