It was summer of 1994, what I consider my 'Year of Liberation'. For the first time, in my 27 years on this earth, could I be who I felt I was on the inside. I no longer had to run and hide. I no longer had to practice the art of lies and deceit. The pressure to scratch and tug at myself in my 'happy area' in public was relieved. You see...I had made my declaration to the world, "I'm not a fisherman! I'm a steer herder! Give me 'meat' or give me death!" I proclaimed, "I'm GAY! Let the festivities begin!"

Needless to say, there were no festivities, no tears of joy, no pats on the back, and no hugs or unconditional love. Instead...my Pentecostal, born-again, spirit-filled, tongue talk'in, holy roll'in, swing'in from the chandeliers because 'we' are filled with the love of God friends and relatives began to tell me how I would now be destined to burn forever in the Lake of Fire, that I was accepting a lie from Satan himself, and I would not be able to join them in the After-Life due to the Great Divide between Heaven and Hell. Throughout these lectures, I found several things that brought great comfort to my 'troubled' soul:

1. A lake called the Lake of Fire = a hot place, which equals naked men
2. Satan likes to play the aggressor, or dominant type, in queer talk...Satan's a 'top'! (That's a total plus!)
3. Lucifer, like Liberace, is a flamboyant name, if ever there was one.
4. He has horns. These are always good to hold on to.
5. I've heard he is hung like a demi-god.
6. He knows how to work the temptation and lust angles, which are two of my favs!
7. Lastly, I can continue my smoking habit and not have to worry about tarnishing the Pearly Gates.

"Hey", I thought, "It works for me!"

So, 'out' I came like Batman on Robin! I was the 'fresh-meat'. Now, what this means is...you don't have to necessarily be good looking, just unknown and never seen before, and you might as well strap a saddle to your ass, because there's a line forming of gorgeous guys who want to take their turn. Now, I don't want to brag, but for about six months, I was the popular pony on the carrousel. I had a stable full of hay and the studs were mighty hungry!

Oh and did I work it well! I learned quickly how the game was to be played. Probably the only thing that saved me from becoming a full-blown 'slut puppy' was the fact that I worked nights. The only two nights I had off were Sundays and Mondays; the only two nights I was able to 'work' this ¼ Polish, ¼ Hungarian, ½ black, looking like a Puerto Rican body! The bubble butt was BANG'IN! I had just lost about 40 pounds, got my stylish 90's jeri-curl going on, the tan; the arms and legs were looking all muscular with a flat stomach. I thought I was too much to resist! However, much to my dismay, there were those who were able to avoid my 'kryptonite kuteness'. But, I did get my share of hotties, so I can't complain.

Sundays were set aside as my 'trash disco' dance night at a club called Fosters. It was always packed on Sunday nights and the most beautiful boys would appear. I could always count on my favorite delicacy to be served...Asian Guys. I love them! I don't know what it is, if it comes from watching too many Bruce Lee and Godzilla movies as a child, or if I was an Asian in some past life. In either case, the attraction is overwhelmingly undeniable. I love their eyes, their lips, their hips, their broken English, their smoothness, and the shape of their agile bodies. Had I been in the Korean or Vietnam wars, I would have been shouting, "Make LOVE, not war!" I would not have been very effective sleeping with the 'enemy'. And how can countries with such cute, hot, beautiful guys be considered such a threat, when they are better as treats? Surely, I would have died for lust...I mean, love.

Mondays were 'I Wanna Be A Star' karoake nights. I was active in my church as a singer and I was working on becoming a Christian artist...however, coming 'out' had pretty much put an end to that desire. 'They' like their musicians, pastors, and saints in the 'closet', you know? So, I found a refuge in karoake, and I became a Karoake Queen. I also found that I could attract men with my singing. I sang well enough that I could get their attention, flirt a little, and then start a conversation. Yeah baby...my singing was like honey, and I was looking for the stingers!

Wink's is a little bar that is known in Phoenix for their cabaret shows. It's a little redbrick building that looks like, and has been rumored, to be a Taco Bell years ago. Needless to say, they're still serving up beef burritos and chalupas; they just come in a human body wrapping. Anyway, Wink's has 'drag' shows every night of the week, except for Mondays. To this day, I go to Wink's on Mondays for my karoake cravings to be fulfilled. Although most of my friends from the early days have moved or have just gone their separate ways, there is still a remnant of us that faithfully come together. Hmmm, come together? <perk> Well, some have tried, but it never works out. It's best to keep that and our friendships separate. It is with this group of friends that I experienced the night that would lead to the second night, which would change my life for the next eight years.

I saw...I met...I set out to conquer...DURAN.