Yup. We got him. MARK LESTER. MARK ‘I-Want-Some-More’ LESTER. MARK ‘dangled-from-a-rooftop-by-Oliver-Reed’ LESTER. MARK ‘You’d-Better-Not-Say-Anything-About-My-Mother!’ LESTER (that last one was that bit in the undertaker’s, in case you didn’t recognise it).

Basically….We got MARK LESTER, and no introduction is really necessary. The little boy who stole our hearts in the 1968 movie of Oliver! has long since been the favourite actor and osteopath of Kittens in Underpants, and we can think of no better way to kick off our new Star Interviews section than with our exclusive interview with Mark Lester (even though we’ll never be able to top it and are making the mistake of ‘peaking’ with our very first one.)

Now a successful osteopath and acupuncturist with his own clinic (yes, Mark has had two successful careers – we at Kittens in Underpants are waiting to have one), our team of hard-nosed investigative reporters (well, Amanda) tracked him down and forced him to answer the following questions. (Okay. I didn’t have to ‘force’ him; Mark was totally charming and obliging and he’s just my total hero, basically.)

Enough of me! Let’s see what MARK LESTER had to say!

KIU Mark, you are now a well respected osteopath and acupuncturist. I often get a very stiff and painful neck from sitting at my computer all day. Will this lead to long-term problems? And if so, should I seek some preventative osteopathy?

M.L You should always take frequent breaks from the computer. Don’t sit for longer than 30 minutes without taking a 2 minute break. If the problems persist seek the advice of an osteopath.

KIU What’s your favourite bit in 'Oliver!'?

M.L The “Who Will Buy” scene

(NOTE: Although we at KIU like this number, too – Mark isn’t in it enough to make it our ‘favourite’ (he just kick-starts it on the balcony of Mr Brownlow’s house, doesn’t he.) Our favourite bit is when Dodger asks him his name, and he says; ‘Oliver. Oliver Twist!’ That bit is the cutest part of the whole movie. OTHER NOTEWORTHY MOMENTS:  When Dodger asks Oliver if he’s got any money, and he sighs and says; ‘Not a farthing!’ And of course, the Where Is Love? scene, when Mark/Oliver looks out of the window of the undertaker’s cellar with the snow falling outside…hankie time. Oh! And we also like Boy For Sale, and Amanda still can’t stand watching that bit when Mark/Oliver is escaping ‘the beak’ and walking precariously along the railway tracks……..WE LOVE ‘OLIVER!’

KIU What do you think of Macauley Caulkin? (Be honest…..we think he's a bit duff.)

M.L I met Macauley in New York and thought he was a pratt.

KIU I've often thought about doing The Alexander Technique to improve my posture, but it seems like a lot of time and trouble. Can acupuncture help with posture problems?

M.L Acupuncture won’t help with posture but osteopathy could a lot with advice on sitting, etc.

KIU When KIU webmaster (Pierre Halé) was a little boy, he held a very striking resemblance to you, and was often stopped in the street and asked if he was 'Oliver'. Were you ever stopped in the street and asked if you were Pierre Halé?

M.L Often!

THEN	NOW
How CUTE was Mark Lester?!	How HOT is Mark Lester?!

KIU Chocolate or Strawberry?

M.L Chocolate.

(NOTE: Although he did not know it when asked, Mark actually gave the correct answer to this question.)

KIU Mark, which did you prefer? 'Gladiator' or 'Titanic'?

M.L Gladiator.

(And again, Mark is pulling all Aces; this is the correct answer.)

KIU You were a very musical child; what sort of music do you listen to today? (And what is your all-time favourite band?)

M.L Rock and the Rolling Stones.

KIU On the set of 'Oliver', did you do 'method acting' and prepare for the role by only eating gruel (or did you eat burgers and chips and normal food?)

M.L Definitely not method acting -  I had a staple diet of Mars bars.

KIU Mark, this is a 'yes' or 'no' question; everyone's talking about an '80s revival, hinting that the sort of gear favoured by Adam and the Ants and Spandau Ballet will make a 'come-back'. Do you think it will?

M.L Yes.

(NOTE: We agree with Mark Lester.)

Mark, you have no idea how happy you've made us by answering these questions! Thank you so very, very much. You are TOPS, and can always…..'Consider Yourself One of Us!' (Sorry. That was cheesy but I truly couldn’t resist.)

See also: OLIVER vs. TINY TIM - THE ULTIMATE FACE-OFF!