FASTER PUSSYCAT, KILL! KILL!

Russ Meyer’s cult classic, “ode to the violence in women”. It’s god awful, painfully over-acted and lacking in substance, but it’s a ‘must-see’ film if there ever was one. Go-go dancers racing sports cars, breaking men’s backs (with their bare hands!) and kidnapping innocent girls. Need I say more (except that there is a lesbian sub-plot to make it even more absurd—if that’s possible!) Tura Satana is pure, mammoth-breasted, karate-kickin’ EVIL.

ONCE WERE WARRIORS

Don’t let the opening credits, which play like a cheesy heavy metal video, deter you from watching this movie in its entirety. OWW is based on a modern day New Zealand family who strays from their tribe and ends up in the ghetto. Domestic violence and rape are tough themes to swallow, but the film is powerful, to say the least. Keep your tissues handy.

HEAVENLY CREATURES

…is  based on a true-life drama of two young girls (Juliet Hulme and Pauline Parker) who proved that friends can, indeed, be “too close”.  The film is both funny and visually stunning at times, but the end is positively torturous. I KNOW it’s a dramatization, but when the brick goes into the pantyhose, I cover my ears and flee the room like a little wuss.

After serving her prison term, Hulme changed her name and became a successful author of murder mysteries. How creepy is that?

BOYS DON’T CRY

Remember how I described my reaction to the murder scene in “Heavenly Creatures”? Well, that same feeling can be applied to this entire movie. BDC is based on the true story of a girl who lived as a boy. “He” was a con-artist, a leech but in the end he became a victim of fear and violence. Hilary Swank so totally deserved the Oscar she won for this role, no question about it. It’s not an easy film to watch.  The “police interrogation” dialogue is supposedly verbatim. When you think times have changed, this film makes you realize they haven’t changed enough.

HATED

I have to “trick” people into watching this movie with me. It’s dreadful, but I find myself fascinated by this documentary on the life of punk rocker/sado-masochist G.G. Allin. This dude would strip naked, take a dump on stage and then fling it into the audience. And it’s all captured on film for your viewing endurement.  The amazing thing is not that G.G. died, but that someone didn’t KILL him. This film is definitely NOT for the squeamish—golden showers, flying poo, bananas being shoved up the bum, now that’s rock-n-roll, baby!

LIQUID SKY

This has got to be one of the WORST films of all times, yet I have to admit that I feel compelled to watch it now and again. I LOVE the actress Paula Sheppard. She plays crazy so well (her other great role was the psychotic sister who tormented Brooke Shields in the ‘70s horror flick “Alice Sweet Alice”). Let me see if I can sum it up for you in a nutshell: a German scientist comes to New York to study aliens who are killing people by draining the opiates from their brains (which are emitted during intercourse or heroine use). The aliens have landed their dinner plate-sized space ship on a roof that belongs to a drug-dealer, who is also a New Wave singer and an abusive lesbian (Paula Sheppard!!!) The dealer/singer/dyke is dating a fashion model/coke head who is constantly getting ravaged by some low-life scum bag who then gets the old “icicle through the cranium” treatment from the aliens. Are you following me so far? I think this movie was probably intended for people who take hallucinogens, but I prefer to watch it stone-cold sober. One word: weird!

SCHINDLER’S LIST

It’s mind numbing to think that the Holocaust took place just 60 odd years ago. Gives a whole different spin on “humanity”, doesn’t it?

THE ELEPHANT MAN

People laugh when I mention this movie—call me a wimp, but I think it’s very touching, but maybe that’s because I spent almost a decade of my life working with people with disabilities. This is Anthony Hopkins best role next to Silence of the Lambs. I’m a cryer and this one keeps me streaming from beginning to end.